Breathe

Here's a Throwback Thursday photo for you.  This is Cora massaging my hand for me while I was in the hospital. What does that have to do with today's word? I'll tell you.

One of the things I remember most about the time right after my accident, when things were often painful and generally bad, is the touch of my loved ones.  I could be down a deep, dark hole of pain, and feel Deane's touch on my hand and my heart rate would slow, my blood pressure would go down, I would breathe.

Somehow, just knowing that Deane, or Julian or Cora was there, touching me, was enough to bring me back from the edge. Their physical touch was more powerful than words.  It was comfort.

It still is.

If ever you need to bring comfort to a loved one; if you need to help them relax and breathe, try a simple touch.  Caress their hand, rub their neck, smooth the hair from their forehead.  Just be there, touch them, and watch them breathe.

Peace

I love my bed.

I sleep so peacefully here.

It is warm.

It is soft.

It is inviting.

It is romantic.

It is safe.

It is home.

Call

Every once in awhile you  know there is something you need to do.  It doesn't happen often, and it doesn't always seem like it's a big deal.  

Sometimes, you push it aside and forget about it.

Sometimes, it nags at you.

Sometimes, you do it.

Once, about a year and a half after my accident I heard it. 

A step-sister of a young friend was in a terrible car accident. She had survived but had suffer injuries similar to my own. I had heard of the young woman, but had never met her. I told my husband I needed to go visit her in the hospital.

Deane knew her family and took me to visit her.  It was the first time I'd been back in the hospital since being released and it was weird for me to be there.  It was awkward at first.  We just showed up at her room.  Soon, her mother recognized Deane and figured out why we were there.  She introduced me to her daughter.  They were having a rough day.  They had just learned that she would be sent to a nursing home soon and they didn't know where she should go. I told her that was easy, she should go to Heartland.

We explained our experiences there to the family and you could feel the relief in the room. They suddenly had a game plan and first had recommendations of how to take the next steps in recovery.

It was such a small thing. Really, it was nothing at all. It was  exactly what they needed, when they needed it.

People who know them still thank me for stopping by the hospital that day.

Another time we had the opportunity to help raise money for a baby that needed surgery. I helped organize a benefit at our church. We got donations of items from so many different people and organized a raffle. We put together a soup and sandwich lunch to go along with the raffle and set it all up in the church basement.

We raised $4,000 in an afternoon. That was exactly what the family needed to pay for her heart surgery.

It was work, but it was fun, and it was worth every minute.

I haven't had that feeling in awhile.  I miss it.  I hope it comes again. Maybe I'm not listening hard enough...

Live

This photo was taken at Cora's Sweet 16 birthday party last July.  We rented the Market Street Theater, hired a DJ and turned the place into an all ages Night Club.  

I bought hundreds of glow necklaces and bracelets and we used every last one. We laid them out like dancing stick figures and taped them to walls.  We tossed them through the air while dancing and we wore them as jewelry.

Cora's cake was just as festive as the party and was a fitting expression of her personality and passions.

This party was an excellent example of living life. 

Everyone had a wonderful time. We danced and ate and enjoyed ourselves.

This is what life is about.  

I am so glad we could give our daughter this kind of party. It was a great day to be a parent!

Celebrate VI

Today I celebrate my incredible, amazing, wonderful, fun, caring, adventurous, sexy, faithful husband.

This man has been by my side for more than half my life and every day he makes my life better by just being in it.

He makes me a better person. He has grown with me. Together we have built a pretty amazing little family.

We have faced many adventures together and look forward to facing many more.  Not every day has been wonderful, not every adventure has been happy, but as long as we have each other we will get through anything.

I am so very happy to be part of his life and so very glad he is part of mine.

Thank you Deane! I love you!

See

How well do you see? 

I don't see terribly well. I've worn glasses / contacts for around 35 years now.  Recently I've gone to mono vision contacts.  That means one eye is corrected for close vision and one for distance. It's working pretty well for me most of the time. It can get interesting if my right eye (the one corrected for distance) is blocked by something and I'm trying to read something far away. 

I have a pair of glasses with distance correction in the left lens and nothing in the right lens.  I use these for driving at night or watching a movie.

When I was getting fitted for these new mono vision contacts my eye doctor was trying to determine if I was left eye or right eye dominant.  He asked me which eye I use for shooting. I guess he knows me pretty well.

The point of this post?  I know I need help to see clearly. The older I get, the more help I need.  What was once clear, is now blurred.  Is this because my eyes are older or because the more I know the more lines blur?

How well do you see?

Meditate

I don't meditate. I like the idea of it, I've never really tried to formally meditate. I'd have to say writing these posts is probably as close as I get to it, except for when I pray.

I pray at night before I go to sleep.  I reflect over the day and give thanks for all that I have.  I ask for guidance and help for myself and others in need. I try very hard to stay focused and do a good job of praying.  The problem is, I'm also winding down and trying to fall asleep.  

I often find that my mind wanders mid prayer and I go off on a tangent.  At some point I remember that I was praying and try to bring myself back and focus.  I feel guilty sometimes that I'm not giving payer the focus and attention it deserves.  Perhaps I need to find a better time of day, when I can remain focused and devote myself in honest prayer then. 

What do you do to meditate? Do you pray?/ How do you do it?

Seek

Seek and ye shall find.  Now, what am I seeking? I don't know.

I'm afraid I don't really know what to write here.  I already talked about searching, which is pretty similar to seeking. 

I seek peace and happiness.

I seek forgiveness.

I feel that seeking has a sense of longing attached to it that searching may not?

I seek to resolve issues.

I seek meaning.

Truth

Truth is not always good, it is not always what we want it to be and it should not always be shared. Sometimes, however, it's exactly what we need, whether we like it or not.

Controversial views? Maybe.  Let me explain. 

The motivation behind telling, or not telling a truth may be more important than the truth itself.

Who is served by this truth?  Is it me?  Is it the person I'm sharing it with?  Is it God?  

If the answer is: me, and the affect of telling harms someone else, is telling a good thing or is it just self serving?

Knowing a truth and sharing it are two different things.  Understanding it is something else altogether.  Being an adult means learning to understand the differences,

 Let me give you an example:

"Yes, those jeans make your butt look fat." may be true, but it has also now ruined those jeans for the one wearing them.Was telling the truth worth the cost of hurting someone's feelings? If I'm genuinely concerned about my friend's weight there are better ways to let her know.

All I'm saying here is consider the consequences involved before sharing a truth. Keep the feelings of those involved in mind.

There are some truths that need no censorship or explanation:

• Love is powerful
• Sunsets are beautiful
• Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
• Laughter is healing
• People need one another

What are your truths?

Mercy

This is one of the stained glass windows in our church.  We call it "The Eye of God".  It's a good sized round window and is pretty creepy.

What does this have to do with mercy?  Well, to me, mercy means giving someone a break even when you have power over them.  God may see all, but he gives us a break; or shows mercy.

This is a really hard word to write about.  Mercy often has bad connotations, (Mercy Killing, Beg for Mercy, etc.).  Our society thinks it shows signs of weakness to ask for mercy.

I think it takes great strength to receive mercy.  

To humble yourself and receive kindness from someone who has the power to do you harm.  To put pride aside and receive grace.

To put pride aside and offer mercy to one you could vanquish, that is more than many men can do.

That's what mercy is to me.

What are your thoughts?

Forgive

I have a very hard time forgiving people for big things.  I have been known to hold a grudge. Forgiveness is painful for me.

To be clear, you have to do something pretty rotten for me to get really angry or hurt in the first place.  I'm also going to give you about a million chances to redeem yourself.  I will take you back again and again. But at some point, I will snap and that will be it. 

Once you've crossed that point, there really isn't any going back.

I don't mean that I will throw things at you every time I see you or anything like that.  I will be polite to you in public, but I won't invite you in any more.  I will not trust you and it will take me a very, very long time to forgive you.

Now, I understand that this hurts me more than it hurts the one who hurt me, but this is just the way I am.  I'm working on it.  I've even managed to let go of some pretty big things, but it's definitely very difficult for me to do.

Fortunately my husband forgives very easily and is very patient with me. This is just another example of how we balance each other out. Not that he's ever done anything deserving of true forgiveness. 

That's what I'm talking about here, true forgiveness.  The life changing kind.  The kind needed for really big stuff.  Not the, I forgive you for cutting me off in traffic kind.  It might take me a hour or so, but I'll forgive you for cutting me off.  Do something to really hurt me or someone I care about, that's what I'm talking about here, that might take me a lifetime to forgive.

I know this is one of the things that kept me away from the Church for so long.  The very concept of that kind of forgiveness, well, it's still hard for me to grasp.

Please forgive me.

Celebrate V

Yesterday was the last Show Choir competition for all of our Seniors. To help celebrate that, and to honor their combo director, one of the students (Aaron) organized these t-shirts.  

That's Jim, their director, on the shirts. Aaron wanted to help lift Jim's spirits, he lost his mother to  cancer earlier in the week.  All of the kids also wanted to celebrate all the hours and hard work Jim puts in with them.  

I think this shows a great amount of character and that the kids' understanding and compassion deserves to be celebrated as well.

Here's to all of those who give their time and energy to helping kids succeed.  It's paying off!

Still

This post was supposed to be written yesterday.  Yesterday was anything but Still, as a result I had not opportunity to write until today, so here we go.

Still, being quite. A Show Choir and Jazz Band competition is not quiet.  It is tons of fun, a bit stressful and very much full of sound. 

Deane and I got to chaperon yesterday.  This amounted to making sure the costumes arrived safely, the kids had some games to play while waiting for performances and making sure everyone got something to eat.  These kids don't need supervision for the most part.  When we talk, they listen.  When we ask for help or for them to do something, they do it.  When we ask them to thank the nice folks at McDonald's in Gilman who handled being inundated with teenagers at 9pm with grace and competence, they all yelled "Thank You!" and applauded. We were pretty much the only ones in the place, and the place was full.

I guess I'm glad that I still feel like we are a part of the lives of these great kids.  I love their energy and how they care for each other.  To be fair, there's always some teen-aged drama, but the positivity far outweighs it.

Even though sitting on hard chairs all day led to a night full of pain, I'm still glad to have been a part of a great day.

Place

The above is a photo of the treasure trove of love I unearthed when I cleaned out my old dresser as I prepared for the arrival of new furniture.  I can't begin to tell you the amount of joy re-reading all of those notes and cards gave me. With the love of my husband and children I have truly found my place in this world.

Thank you. 

Light

This is Niagara Falls at night, from the American side.  That's Toronto in the background.  I was there about 2 years ago.  I'd been to the Falls during the day before, but never at night.  It was spectacular. They light the Falls up with different colors that change.  It was beautiful.  I remember being so excited that I immediately started Face-timing my family so I could share it with them.  

Deane was walking on the treadmill at the gym when I called him to share this light. It was so cool to be able to show him what I was seeing in real-time, thousands of miles apart.  Next I called Cora, she was doing homework in her room.  She loved it!  I called Julian, but he was in class and couldn't answer.  I made a video and messaged it to him.  He called me later and said he almost answered because he saw it was me calling and he knew I was on a business trip. I told him he could have shared it with his whole class if he had.

I loved sharing this light with them. Have you shared a light with anyone lately?

Believe

I believe that tomorrow will be better than today.

I believe that someday my right leg will be healed.

I believe that I will ride again. 

I believe that my children can do anything.

I believe in random and not so random, acts of kindness.

I believe in my marriage.

I believe that people are inherently good.

I believe in friendship.

I believe in hard work.

I believe in fun.

I believe in saying "please" and "thank you".

I believe in laughing really loud.

I believe.

Endure

In honor of Wolf and St. Patrick's Day, I give you a photo of what we had to endure a few years ago about this time.  We were in Washington D.C. a few days after St. Patrick's Day and it was FREEZING!  Also, many of the sidewalks are made of pebbles or brick, neither of which are conducive to smooth rolling in a wheelchair.

We all endure many things on a regular basis:

• meetings, oh so many meetings
• health procedures, those are always so much fun
• inescapable conversations with inescapable people
• inclement weather
• travel issues
• etc., etc.

I could go on and on listing all of the things we endure.  I really think it's more important to think about why we endure them:

• to learn things and be productive
• to be healthier and take care of ourselves
• to be a good friend, or even just to be polite, sometimes that is enough
• weather changes, good days will come again
• sometimes, it's more about the destination than the travel
• etc,, etc.

Never forget, life is what you make of it.  Dwelling on the negative will keep you in the negative. Looking for the positive will help get you to the positive.

What have you endured and why?

Wilderness

We don't have a lot of true wilderness close to where we live, but we do love to get out and enjoy it non the less! 

When I was a teenager I lived part time in Fairbanks, Alaska.  I remember one summer a friend and I threw a bunch of camping gear and food in the back of his pick up and headed out for an adventure. We didn't really know where we were going, we figured we'd know when we got there. We drove a few hours and found ourselves in Valdez (this was before the oil spill).  We found a nice spot near the mouth of the river, where it joined the bay and set up camp.  We had no idea if the land belonged to someone or not, it didn't matter.  It wasn't posted and we weren't in anyone's way.  While we were setting up a local drove up and stopped to chat.  We told them we would be there a couple of days.  They told us where we could go in town to shower if we wanted, and where the store was, wished us well and drove off. 

The only time we saw another human for the next 3 days was when we drove into town.  Otherwise it was the two of us and a lot of wildlife.  We had a great time watching the bald eagles swoop in and catch fish. We waded in the river down to the bay and watched the sea lions sunning themselves on the rocks.  It was heaven.  It was summer, so it never got dark.  It was very peaceful, except for the mosquitoes.

Everyone should have an adventure like that sometime.  Exploring on you own, no schedule to follow, no cell phones.  Just birds and sky and beauty all around you.

Man, now I want to go camping...

Celebrate IV

Today was a banner day!

First, I got to go shooting with some wonderful ladies and my husband and son.  We literally had a blast!  We had lots of fun shooting at the indoor range our son works at.  Not only was the shooting and learning fun, it was also great to see how in his element my son is at his place of work.

Even though he wasn't working today, when he saw that the range checkout was getting backed up, he jumped in to help them get caught up.  He was greeted on the range by several regular customers who were just genuinely happy to see him. He belongs there.  It was a great thing for a mom to see!

After shooting we came home and I baked cookies.  Not just any cookies, Carol's Cookies, from The Walking Dead.  You see, today is Sunday, and that means a group of mainly High School kids come to my house for what we call Sci-fi Sunday.  We watch science fiction and The Walking Dead.  Last week's episode featured some very special cookies.  AMC was good enough to post the recipie, so I made them.

So, today I celebrate fellowship in a myriad of ways!

What do you celebrate today?

Search

I search for things all the time!  My husband's keys, a good image for a blog post, the perfect outfit for a special day, just the right art work for a room in my house.  

I also search for information; a lot!

I enjoy the hunt.  Narrowing down the possibilities until you find just the right ___________. I get a certain thrill out of finding that perfect what have you, and it's even better when you can get it for a great price.

I'm not good at browsing, I'm much better at focused searching (and shopping).  I prefer to go in with a goal in mind.  Browsing can lead to inspiration, I'm not saying it's all bad, I just like a targeted approach better.  I am a very task oriented, goal driven kind of person, so I guess that helps explain this.

When something strikes my passion I can become consumed with wanting to search for everything I can find about it.  This could be collecting Dept. 56 houses ( I am a recovering addict), or learning everything I could about King Arthur and Queen Elizabeth I.  Searching can spark passion as well as feed it.

Searching is part of human nature; our curiosity is one of the things that makes us interesting.

I, for one, plan to keep right on searching.

What are you searching for?

Practice

Practicing is working at something repeatedly to perfect it.  I've been practicing writing every day for the last few weeks. Perfecting my writing is not really my goal with writing these posts.  The main idea is to allow me to meditate on a specific task and see what comes out.  So, I guess I'm practicing meditating more than anything else.  

Taking some time out of every day to focus on one thing.  This should not be something that is difficult to do, but in my life it is.  I have a feeling the same may be the case for many of you.  It only takes about 20 mins. or so write a post, but sometimes it's really hard to find those 20 mins.  When you add in all of the other tasks that take 5, 10, 15, 20 mins to do, well it all adds up.

Many people practice things everyday.  It is time spent working on something that is important to them. Sometimes it's perfect, sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's the practicing is more important than the product.  Without the practice, the product would not be worth as much as it is with the practice.

I will keep trying to practice, and maybe, if you're really lucky, I'll get better.

 

Stop

Have you ever tried to get a toddler to stop?  It's really hard! 

We never had much luck with the word "Stop!", no matter how emphatically it was yelled.  What worked for us you ask?  "Hot, hot! Burn baby!".

Whenever the kids would get close to the stove when it was on, Deane and I would both yell out "Hot, hot! Burn baby!". You'd think the fact that both of their parents were going berserk would be enough to get the kids to stop, but no, you'd be wrong.  They would insist on touching the door of the oven.  It was the outside, but it was still hot to a tiny hand.  They were not injured, but the physical sensation (along with the berserk screaming) created a Pavlovian response in our children.  

From then on (they both learned this in their own time), whenever we would say "Hot, hot! Burn baby!", their immediate reaction would be to sit down.

This comes in handy when you are trying to keep your fleeing toddler from racing into the street and oncoming traffic.  The neighbors might you're nuts for screaming "Hot, hot! Burn baby!", until they see your child freeze and sit where they were. 

It's really a handy little trick!

What do you do to get your kids to stop?

Wise

When I think of the word "wise" Mr. Spock comes to mind.  His stubbornly logical mind seemed to make him very wise in the ways of "men".  It didn't hurt that he had a wry sense of humor, deep down.

Wise: to have an understanding of the world around us and how people function in it.  That's my definition.

I think each of us is wise in our own ways.  We all have areas that we care more about, and therefore know more about, than others.  I'm not quite sure what my area is.  That's ok, it just means I'm still exploring and learning as I go.

What areas are you wise in?  What does wise mean to you?  How does one become wise?

This is a tough one!

Live long and prosper!

Knowledge

Several years ago, my Girl Scout Troop decided to provide fully stocked backpacks to kids that needed them.  This became their Bronze Award project.

We decided as a Troop that having the right tools would help kids feel better about going to school and thus help them learn.  The girls collected supplies and raised money for a year and put together 12 backpacks (one for each member of our Troop) in time for school to start. The girls prepared a statement and we meet with the Principal of the Jr. High to deliver the backpacks so that he could see they were distributed.

It was a great project.

I know that school supplies are not all we need to gain knowledge, what we really need is access and support.  I think, in their own small way, those backpacks provided that.  You see, we not only included all the things on the Jr. High school supply list, we also put a PBL t shirt and a pizza gift certificate into each backpack. There was also a list of local groups and clubs (for kids new to the district).

The girls wanted to make sure the student receiving the backpack felt included in their school and community.  They wanted the student to know that they were part of something.

The girls recognized that learning is about more than going to class and doing homework. It's about participating in the world around them.  That's what these backpacks were really about.

Sabbath

Konnor, an old a faithful servant.

The Sabbath is supposed to be a day of rest, I feel that to many, it has become a day of obligation.

For Christians the Sunday is the Sabbath day. This is the day we are supposed to go to church, and for many, myself included sometimes, going to church is more of an obligation than a restful renewal of the spirit. Sunday's are also often full of other obligations, visiting with family or hosting family dinners, grocery shopping etc. 

What if, instead of approaching Sunday as a day of obligation we looked at it as a day of rest?  What if Church was a place to lay down our burdens instead of being a burden on our time?  What if we approached family gatherings in a way that allowed us to renew relationships instead of putting in the obligatory appearance?  What if we wrapped ourselves in the Sabbath like a warm blanket and held it close like a teddy bear?

I'm sure I would / will have trouble making this shift in perspective, but I think it just might be worth a try...

Celebrate III

Today I celebrate the sun!

It is finally starting to warm up here.  The snow is beginning to melt. The sun is shining!

We went to church this morning to celebrate the Son, and came out to a beautiful day in the making.

I did slip and almost fall on the ice on the way out of church, but Deane had my arm and I was fine. I can't tell you how excited I am to be able to get outside and walk without the fear of falling!

Today's photo is of my sun room. I haven't been able to go out and enjoy it all winter (it doesn't have any heat).  My sun room is my retreat.  It is my space in the house.  I go out there and sit in the sun and read or watch TV, all by myself.  It's lovely.

It took me a long time to come up with the decor for my sun room.  I don't know why, but it was a very difficult room for me to put together. I am now completely in love with it.  Sounds like a metaphor for my life! :)

I hope you all got to experience the son/sun in your life today! Here's to many more to come.

Speak

Today Deane and I got to babysit our Godson Noah all afternoon.  We had a great time!  He played fetch with the dogs, played tag with Gunnar, ate a ton of food and reorganized my Tupperware drawers.

Noah doesn't really speak many words yet, he's almost 13 months old.  Every time I gave him a snack that he wanted or handed him the tennis ball he said what I swear was "Thank You".  It was adorable.

Even though Noah doesn't say many words yet, he understands our words when he's spoken to.  He told me stories in his own language and I understood him perfectly.  We speak in other ways.

Hold up your arms, you want to be picked up and held.  Clap your hands, you're happy; cry, you're sad. 

Speak and you will be heard.

Beloved

For the past 2 years or so, I've been involved in women's Bible studies.  The leaders have change, as have the topics, group member's and meeting places, but the fellowship remains the same.

There is a core group of women who have attended the last 4 studies with me, and I'm fortunate to have them as close friends.  All of the Bible studies have been written by Beth Moore. 

Beth has two phrases she uses over and over again, they're terms of endearment really, she says "girlfriend", (with a southern accent) a lot and she calls all of those enrolled in the study "beloved". If you've never heard her speak I'd highly recommend it. She is very knowledgeable, passionate and charismatic as a speaker. She is also very personable and human.

When my Pastor, and current Bible study leader, asked our current group to come up with a name for ourselves we very quickly settled on "Beloved Girlfriends".  What a perfect name for us!

I find it very rewarding, if sometimes painful, to partake in these studies with women. They are so willing to share and listen with compassion and sincerity. What happens in Bible Study, stays in Bible Study; it is a safe place.

I also really enjoy learning more about what went into the books of the Bible.  It is a good way for me to educate myself about something I am still fairly new to.

I hope you have your own group of Beloved Girlfriends (gender really isn't important here, it's the sentiment I'm after)!

Have a wonder weekend my beloveds!

 

Follow

Yes, I am a child of the '80s.

U2 Boy is still one of my favorite albums.  I got to see them on tour for it.  I had seat 1AA.  Bono body surfed.  I touched him.  But, I digress.

Seriously, when I saw that today's word was follow, this song is what immediately came to mind. Check out the lyrics and you will understand why.

I'm not one to immediately follow.  One of my favorite buttons on the jean jacket I wore as a teenager said "Question Authority". 

I need to be convinced.  I'm not saying this is good or bad, it's both.  I'm just saying it is how I am. Once I'm convinced though, I'm extremely loyal.

I tend to go into friendships expecting the best.  Once you've proved yourself worthy, I will stick by you through thick and thin, as long as you also stick by me.

I will follow, I will also lead.  It's best to take turns. I think understanding this is part of what makes relationships strong.

I am blessed with a husband who also follows and leads.  We compliment each other, most of the time.  Sometimes we butt heads pretty hard, but we always work it out in the end.

To follow is a choice.  It is not something that should be done carelessly, it deserves much thought and requires great trust.  

Most of all, it requires faith.

Poor

There was a time in my life when back to school shopping consisted of a trip to the Salvation Army for "new" clothes. It never occurred to me at the time that this was not where everyone went shopping. Then one day this happened:

I was in 7th grade. A teacher was driving me and another student somewhere on some Student Council related errand.  We were sitting three across in the front seat of her car.  I was in the middle. The other student, also a girl, glanced down at my jeans.  They were bell bottoms with rainbows embroidered  the length of the legs. (Give me a break, it was the late '70s)  There was a spot around the right knee where some of the stitching had come out. 

"Huh." the girl said, "I used to have a pair of jeans just like those.  I out grew them and my mom gave them away."

I was mortified.

For the first time in my life I realized that those clothes we got so cheaply had once belonged to actual people.

If I could have, I would never have worn those jeans again, but that was not a luxury I could afford.

Later, in High School, I was able to go to the mall to buy my clothes like most of my peers.  I still went to the Salvation Army though.  I was looking for old Army jackets and other "cool" clothes to compliment my punk rock style and purple hair. (By now, it was the early 80's)

As an adult, I still occasionally go to the Salvation Army when looking for costume pieces.

There were times in my life where I didn't have much money, but I never felt like I was poor. I couldn't buy the things I wanted and the things we had were not fancy and might be a bit worn, but we were ok.  

I guess to me, "poor" is more a state of mind than a state of money. 

I'm too optimistic and driven to ever be poor.

Near

While I much prefer real, honest to goodness face time with friends and family, that is not always possible.  Technology, and primarily this silly little thing called Facebook, makes it possible to stay connected with those near and far.

I can feel close and involved in the lives of friends and family overseas by trolling their Facebook pages, liking their photos and commenting on their posts. I can share my own thoughts and photos as well. 

I know I talked about social media in an earlier post, but it really is an important part of how I keep people near to me.

Facebook and its ilk will never replace being together in person, but they have allowed us to maintain ties that often were lost in the past.

I for one, am glad to be near all of you as you read this.

Thank you.

Bless

Bless you!

Count your Blessings.

I am so Blessed.

This photo is of the first time Deane and I were able to dance together, 9 months after my accident.

I suppose there was a time when people weren't sure I'd ever walk again, let alone dance. 

To be honest, that thought never entered my head. 

Maybe I was naive to be so optimistic, but from the moment I landed on that truck and was able to move my fingers and toes, I knew I was going to be ok.  I knew it was bad, but that I'd come through it.

Perhaps it was by design, but I was surrounded by people who were so supportive, they never let such a thought enter my head.

My feet didn't touch the floor for 4.5 months, but when they did, I took 2 steps.

Then I was using a walker to get across the room.  From there I went to a cane,  Now, I walk unassisted for the most part.  I'm not so good on uneven terrain and I have to hang on when going up or down stairs but I manage.

I can dance.  

Nothing fancy, but enough to have fun and embarrass my kids.  Enough to enjoy a slow dance with my love.

I am so Blessed!

How are you Blessed?

Celebrate II

Celebrate life!

We took this photo a few weeks ago as we toasted the birthday and life of my late Father-in-Law Marvin. It was a way for us to celebrate a good life. 

We try to celebrate life every chance we get. It doesn't have to be a big celebration.  It can be a shot and a toast.  It can be a game of cards with friends.  It can be a glass of wine on the couch after a long day. 

We do try to make sure milestones are celebrated well as a family. Birthdays always involve cake and a party of some kind.  Graduations and Holidays are the same.  We are blessed with family and friends and we love any excuse for a party.  

Deane and I often find ourselves being the ones who make the celebration happen. Sometimes that's a burden, but mostly it's fun.  We have simply decided that we will make life happen rather than sit back and wait for it to happen.

So grab life and celebrate! 

How do you celebrate?

Powers

A good friend of mine made this photo for me shortly after my motorcycle accident.  She had it printed poster sized and it was in my hospital room for the duration. It gave me inspiration and made me laugh.

I have no real super powers, except maybe when it comes to jigsaw puzzles, I'm really good at those. What I do have is the power of those around me.

A few years ago I needed it in spades.

I will never be able to explain the feelings that come to mind when I think back on those times.  You may think this is crazy, but most of them are positive.

Don't get me wrong, it was (is) painful and sucked beyond measure in many ways, but it also brought out the very best in many people close to me. I have fond memories of those interactions and the friendships that were formed.

Adversity has the power to show you your strengths and weaknesses.  It also shows you those of the people around you.  I had so many strong people around me, helping me at every turn. It was amazing. I have so much to live for. I had so much love and support, and still do.  

My powers come from all of you.

Thank you!

Wait

Good things come to those who wait.

I hate to wait.

I'm not as bad at waiting as Deane is, but it is definitely not my favorite thing.

I'd rather get, or go, or do, or rest.

Wait means something is coming but is not yet here. That is so hard for me!

I can handle waiting if I know what is coming.

Wait and you will get your reward.

What happens when the reward isn't what you thought it would be?  Was it worth the wait?

Is waiting what Faith is?  Faith is believing.  Faith is knowing that something is. 

Are they the same? They don't feel the same to me.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Place

Place can mean so many things.  

You can be put in your place. 

Things can be out of place.

We all seem to want a place of our own.

I have lived in this place for 21 years, longer by 19 years than any place else.

This is the place I love to come back to.

This is the place I feel safe.

This is my place.

This is home.

This is where I belong.

Remember

Few things make us remember like photos.  One look at a photo and a flood of information comes pouring out at us.  Where we were, who we were with how we felt, what we were wearing, what the weather was like, etc.

Photos are very important to me and have been for a long time.  I love taking photos of others, I"m not so thrilled to have others take photos of me.  I really like looking at them and remembering all of those stories that go with them.

For a long time I've loved scrapbooking.  It's been a long time since I've done any.

I let scrapbooking become a chore.  I put pressure on myself to deliver a product on a deadline.  Don't get me wrong, it was still a work of love, but I let it become work and not love.

I need to fix this.  I am the only one who can fix this.  I will fix this.  It just takes time.

I have a new scrapbook room waiting to be pulled together in my basement.  Once I no longer see my breath when I go down there I will get started.

I may need a gentle push in that direction...

Path

Being the nerds that we are, we've been watching a Sci-Fi show called Helix.  This season features a cult living in an Abbey style building on an island.  They keep talking about how everyone has to follow their own path.  The cult members use that line as an excuse not to get involved with each other's lives.  I think that's pretty telling.

Everyone should follow their own path, that much is true.  However, I don't believe we should do it alone.  I think it is important to get, and especially to give, help along the way.

I would have lost my path long ago if no one had helped me.

If we were really meant to go it alone families would not be necessary.  I believe that families are necessary.  Whether they are families born of blood, friendship, or both doesn't matter.  Those of us who have help to walk our paths, have surer footing than those of us who try to go it alone.

It has been my experience that helping others along their path teaches me much about where to take my own.

The hardest part is asking for help when you need it.

Find your footing. Take the help that is offered to you.  Offer help whenever you can. Follow your heart. Stay true to your path.

Covenant

The first covenant I ever entered into was my marriage.

I vowed to love, honor, and cherish this man until death do us part.

It was the best commitment I ever made.

This first covenant has lead me to enter into several others.  It lead to the baptisms of first our son, then our daughter, and finally, myself.  

Next came the baptism of my Godson and my being able to be his Godmother.  

It lead to our renewing our wedding vows, not once, not twice, but three times (yes, there's a whole other story there).

Covenants are not to be entered into lightly.  They are powerful and life changing. 

Sometimes, they are life saving.

What covenants have you entered into?

Celebrate

Today my husband and I were recognized at church for our service as Youth Leaders for the last eight years.  In November we made the hard decision to step down and pass the torch to another couple.  The times we have shared with the amazing youth of our church have been truly celebratory.

We went on two mission trips to New Orleans to attend the National Lutheran Youth Gathering.  We served countless meals to our congregation.  We held several Lock Ins, Paintball Games, Superbowl Parties, Pizza Parties etc.

It was hard work, but so very rewarding.  These youth are part of our family and we will always be there for them.

An example of the bond we have with these kids, when I was stuck in the nursing home during my recovery, Deane still held Sunday School each week.  The kids asked if they could move Sunday School to the nursing home so I could still be part of it.  The Sunday they invaded my room was one of the best days of my life.

These youth and their families are amazing people and it is they that should be celebrated and thanked for allowing us into their lives.

Thank you!  We shall celebrate heartily next weekend with the lovely gift certificate you gave us, it is perfect!

Joy

What brings me joy? Family.

Not necessarily blood relatives, I'm talking about the amazing people who have accepted me into their lives and allow me to share myself with them. People like my beautiful Godson Noah pictured above.  Is that not an expression of pure joy on his face?

I am seriously happiest when I am surrounded by those I love and I know that I've done something to make them happy.

Joy is not something I want to keep to myself, it is something to be shared. Joy is not complicated, it is simple.  It is pure.  Joy is love.

What does Joy mean to you?  What brings Joy to your life? Please share your thoughts and stories with me, it will bring me Joy.

Alone

Why are all the images about being alone sad?  I took this photo at Gettysburg, I just thought it was a beautiful tree and I like the way the light was hitting it.  When I looked for images related to the word "alone" everything I found looked stark like this.  

"Alone" is not bad.

Sometimes, alone is a bountiful blessing.  For me, a working mother and wife involved in many activities and friends, alone is very precious.

When I'm alone, I can indulge in bad movies or TV and no one will judge me.  

When I'm alone, I can sit on the couch for hours in my PJs and play xbox without guilt.

When I'm alone, I can read a book!

When I'm alone, I can sort through closets, dressers and drawers and find bags of things to donate to Empty Tomb.

When I'm alone, I can turn into the White Tornado and clean the house top to bottom in a matter of hours.

When I'm alone I can sit in the sun and dream.

When I'm alone, I can concentrate on me.

What is your favorite thing about being alone?

Look

Look.

Look up.

Look out.

Look ahead.

Look around.

Look under every leaf.

Look for the best in everything.

How do you look at life? 

Do you look at life? 

Do you spend time thinking about how you are moving through life?  

I do.

I only got a couple of hours of sleep last night, I'm mainly running on caffeine right now, and that's starting to run low, so this may be a bit of a ramble today. Even so, I urge you to stop and take a look around you at all of the really good  things in your life.  It's very easy to get caught up and focus on the bad and stressful things, but I find it much more refreshing to look at the good things.

Good things for me today:

I got complimented on my boots.  That made me smile.

My husband is going to make chili for supper, yum!

I have access to lots of coffee, if I need it.

I really enjoyed the cooking class we (Deane, Cora and I) took last night, and the stir fry we made was a great lunch. (Hmm, I'm starting to sense that food is important to me :) ).

I work in a positive atmosphere.

I can walk, it may not always be easy, but I can do it. 

I will sleep better tonight.

Ok, your turn!  Look around and tell me something good!

Announce

It used to be that if you had an important announcement to make you sent out cards or letters to your family and friends.

Or maybe you held a party, raised a glass and tapped it with your knife to get everyone's attention, and made your announcement in person to the applause of those present.

Sometimes announcements are made over loud speakers or broadcast over the TV and radio. 

It seems to me that most announcements are made over social media today.  News that used to take hours, days, weeks, months or even years to reach the far corners of the earth, is now received almost instantly via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc.

Today I can find out about the birth of a friend's baby moments after they are born.  I can also learn of job promotions or changes, engagements, performances and what you are eating right now as it happens.

Sometimes these announcements are wonderful.  Sometimes they make me cry. Sometimes they are things I really care about, sometimes, not so much. Sometimes I'm sad when I try to relay a story to a friend in person, only to discover they've already "heard" it on Facebook.

I love being able to stay in contact with friends and family everywhere.  I love feeling like I'm a part of their lives even if I haven't seen them in years.  I try to remember though, that the really big things are best told in person.  That to truly stay connected, I must stay involved and invested.

I announce to you that I will try to do a better job of connecting with you in person. I want to be involved and invested.

Walking - One Step at a Time

Tomorrow will mark 4 weeks that I've walked a minimum of 10,000 steps, (4 miles) every weekday. That's more walking than I've done in years.
More walking than I thought I'd ever be able to do not so long ago.
Over the last four weeks I've been asked a lot of questions about my walking, so I thought I'd share what I've learned so far.

First, just a little bit of background.  About 3.5 years ago I was in a very bad motorcycle accident that, among other things, broke my tail bone and my pelvis in 6 places and has resulted in fairly severe nerve damage to my right leg. I also have a 6 in. pin in my back, between my pelvic bones. As a result of the nerve damage, I have rather limited feeling in my right leg and in my foot in particular. Also, my right ankle doesn't work quite right and I am unable to go up on tiptoe on my right foot.  I spent almost five months flat on my back in a nursing home and have been working on recovering ever since.
Walking at all, and walking unassisted (no walker or cane), is a miracle for me.  I still have problems with stairs and uneven surfaces (my balance is a bit off), but in general I have very little to complain about.

Lessons Learned 

• Walking is hard!
•  It takes time to build up to being able to walk long distances consistently.

• I started several months ago by just taking the long way around when I'd go to the restroom at work.
• Ibuprofen is my friend, cold weather is not.

• Motivation and Support are Key
• About six months ago I bought a Fitbit for myself and one for my husband.  I wanted to start keeping track of how much exercise we were getting and hopefully motivate myself to move more.
• Four weeks ago a friend who also has a Fitbit started issuing daily goal challenges to her Fitbit friends. I LOVE these!  They let you set your own personal goal and then show you your progress throughout the day.  It also shows your friend's progress so you can cheer them and then quietly compete against them :).  For me, this is the nudge I need to get up and keep moving.  Thank You to all my Fitbit pals, you really help me keep it going.

• Be consistent
• It is so easy to just sit at my desk all day and come up with reasons why I shouldn't go for a walk.  I've found that if I set a schedule for myself it really helps.  I try to walk for 15-20 min. three times a day: 8:15am, 11:15am and 3:00pm.  Of course, I have to adjust this around my work schedule, but having it in my head that this is when I need to get up and walk really helps me.

• People look at you funny when they see you walking laps around the atrium of your building; but they get over it!
• Soon, people you've never met but work in the same building with, start saying "Hi!" when they see you doing laps.  Sometime they even lend a word of encouragement.
• Co-workers stop to talk to you about work which can allow you to avoid calling a meeting.
• Friends and co-workers start asking you about walking and sometimes they join you.

• It gets better. 
• When I started I could only do 4 laps twice a day.  Now I'm up to 5 laps 3 times a day and still hit the gym some evenings.
• I am getting stronger and maybe walking the tiniest bit faster.
• I have less pain.  Getting started is still hard, but once I get moving I can keep moving for longer and not be in pain later.

I don't know how long I will keep this up, I hope for a good while.  I'd love to walk a 5K sometime in the next year.  I'd love to not need to take a scooter to GenCon this summer. I'd really love to lose some weight.  I'll get there.  Slowly but surely, I'll get there as long as I have people helping me along the way!

I'm looking forward to better weather so I can take my walks outside.  If you see me wandering around campus come and join me.  I'm always up for getting a cup of coffee or just going along for the walk.