Being a Mom
I used to think that in order to be a good Mom I had to be Super Mom. You know, the June Cleaver type who always hard warm cookies waiting for the kids when they got home from school? I actually once overheard a mom saying how she like to greet her kids with warm cookies when they got home. It made me feel terribly inadequate for a long time. Then I found out that mom had an affair and left her husband. I don't feel so bad any more.
With time, and lots of help from my kids and my husband (their Dad) I'm learning that being a good Mom is a lot more about being there, being engaged and interested, than it is about warm cookies. I'm a better mom when I have time to myself, at work and with friends. I would have been a terrible stay at home mom, it's just not my calling.
I have learned that the fact that you actually manage to get everyone out the door with what they need in the morning is more important than staying up until 2am making home made snacks for the school party (Thank You to the schools that now ONLY allow store bought items, you have no idea how much guilt you have relieved!). I have learned that you can stay in touch with your kid's teachers and be involved in their activities without being the Class Mom. I have learned that it is important to take a day off of work to go on that school field trip, even if it means riding on a school bus for four hours.
For most of his life my son has had a best friend. This young man has spent many hours/days in our home. For years he refused to call me anything other than Mrs. Geiken (his parents have raised him well). I kept encouraging him to call me Cee, he wouldn't do it. One day he started calling me Mom. It was wonderful! He is now 20 years old and still calls me Mom. There are actually several kids that are not related to me at all who call me Mom. I love it. To me it is the ultimate form of respect and acceptance. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I have been blessed with two incredible children that I can call my own. A year ago we added Wolf to the mix. I really couldn't ask for more.
A few years ago good friends of ours, who are about our age, fostered a young girl, who they have since adopted. She was 5 going on 6 when they first got her. They had never had a child before. I got lots of questions from the mom and was happy to give advice. She kept telling me I should write a book, I kept telling her I had 5 years of messing up before I got to where she was when she started! I don't get a lot of questions from her anymore, she's figuring it out just fine on her own! They have become a great family and I look forward to watching them grow!
The true trick to being a good Mom? Listening. Hear what you're children are saying and what they aren't. Respect their feelings and their opinions. Explain your decisions and stick to them, even when they don't like the answer. Have fun with you kids! Be involved in their lives and let them be involved in yours. Ask for help when you need it. Always say you're sorry when you screw up. Never let them forget how much you love them.
There you have it. I'm not Super Mom, I'm just Mom and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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