Lent 2014 - Day 33 - Pain

Pain

There was a time when getting me into this chair took four people and a lot of pain.  I was doing really well to be able to sit up for 15-20min.  Thankfully, things are much better now.

I still have pain, pretty much on a daily basis.  It's not usually too bad.  Sometimes I get terrible nerve pain (usually it starts around 2am).  I wouldn't wish that stuff on anyone.  It comes in two flavors, electrocution, it literally feels like I'm being shocked repeatedly in the same spot for hours on end, and fire, where a section of my foot becomes so sensitive that any touch will cause me to cry out.  Sometimes the fire is really more of a dull roar, that is to say part of my foot will be on fire, but I can manage to ignore it most of the time.

I have a variety of remedies for both kinds of pain, electric pulse massage, creams, pills.  Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.  Sometimes the pills just make me not care as much.  Mostly I find doing something that gets my mind off of myself is the best remedy.  This is not always possible at 2am (thank God for Netflix!), but when things go bad during the day, I try to keep myself busy or to at least remind myself that there are so many others out there who have it far, far worse than I.

I tell you all of this, not to complain, but to explain.  Sometimes I may be a bit more distracted or short tempered than normal. I apologize for that, I'm probably dealing with pain or fatigue brought on by pain and lack of sleep. Of course, I could just be spaced out or grouchy. I am human after all!

I've said before, I don't see the fact that I have pain as something that makes me different from anyone else. We all have burdens to bear, seen and unseen. We all need to learn to cut each other a little more slack and be kinder and more patient with each other (I know I need to work on this!).  If you ever hear me say I'm hurting, there's a good bet I'm hurting pretty badly and need to take a break or deal with it in some way.  I really don't like it when pain gets in my way.

I thank you all for putting up with me through this, especially my husband and my kids, Lord knows they bear the brunt of my crankiness! I really am sorry when I snap at you, its not your fault.  Thanks for forgiving me, understanding and helping me to keep moving on!